We are extremely close with my side of the family, we gather with them multiple times a week. In sharp contrast, I must shamefully admit, that we have not been the best, hell who am I fooling, we had not gone out of our way in many years to maintain any sort of functional relationship with my husband's family. I am ashamed to admit this, but our sons are 8 and 9 years old and they had not met my husband’s two sisters and one of his brothers. Our sons had not met their nearly 90 year old great grandmother, never mind their twelve first cousins.

They had only met their grandmother on one single occasion and one uncle several years ago. With our countries current economic situation, traveling cross country for a family reunion is the last thing most of us can afford. So, when we received a text telling us that my Steve’s family was having a large family reunion for his grandmother’s 90th birthday, we struggled trying to decide if traveling for this was something we could bare the financial burden off.  

All the talk of family made me think of my own cousins. All my amazing childhood memories of them came flooding through; the good times, laughter, delicious ethnic foods inherent to my family, the rivalries and the idolizations. I remembered all the family traditions we took part in and the inherent bonding created by family times and shared memories.

Steve’s family gathering was to be a very large reunion. Family from all over the United States would be attending. There would be relatives traveling from Texas, Michigan, California, Oregon and elsewhere to Wisconsin. In one fail swoop, my children would be able to meet an extensive number of their paternal family members. It would also allow my husband the opportunity to see family members he had not seen in years, some in decades. We decided we couldn’t handle the emotional burden of not going.

With our gear packed, boarded the plane and traveled from the West Coast, back to the Midwest where Steve and I grew up, met and got married. Our children were excited on many levels, they were thrilled to be traveling on a plane. They missed their grandmother and couldn’t wait to see her. They were excited about seeing their parent’s hometown.

My husband’s brother had graciously agreed to house our family of four, during our brief return home. We arrived late on Friday evening, long past my brother in laws four year old son's bed time. Joe kindly dragged a mattress into his son’s room for our children to sleep on. In the process of completing this task he woke his young son. His son became wide eyed, wondering who these strange children were that were invading his room and sleeping there too. He remained still but stared intently at them for well over an hour.

All three of the new acquainted cousin, woke early and began playing together. They ate together and prepared for the reunion. Words simply cannot define how amazing it was to see my husband hug his 90 year old grandmother after a nearly decade long absence. My children met more than 60 members of their father’s family. They ate food made from recipes that were generations old. They spent time laughing, giggling and dancing with their family. They heard traditional songs and saw photos of four generations before them. Most importantly, they walked away with a better sense of who they are and where they come from.

Our entire immediate family gained so much from attending the reunion. For my husband, it created new bridges of contact with many members of his family. All those fond childhood cousin memories I remembered, well now my children had the start of a version of their own. They now regularly ask about their cousins on their father’s side and can’t wait to visit them again.

Family reunions can help pass family traditions and most importantly, they can create lifelong relationships for your children and the connecting branches of their heritage. I encourage you to think back to the shared family times in your past, think of those cousins, aunts and uncles you haven’t talked to in ages. Then I implore you, to contact them, and plan a family reunion of your own. Tips for a reunion of your own, remember to have a guest book for everyone to sign so you have a record of all who attended and be sure to take tons of family photos.