Self Esteem

By, Melinda Cali

Self esteem is defined as how a person feels about themselves. Currently, the United States school system does not foster positive self-esteem for our youth. Instead the school system is focused on learning, and does not take the child’s emotional well being into account. “Children with a healthy sense of self-esteem feel that the important adults in their lives accept them, care about them, and would go out of their way to ensure that they are safe and well”. Children with positive self esteem behave better and have better attitudes about learning. So, if the child’s esteem were taken into account they would perform better. Additionally, it is proven that children with a high self esteem are more creative. In sharp contrast students with low self esteem are more likely to bully their classmates and cause violence to someone close to them. (http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content2/strengthen_children_self.html).

Looking at how school systems are currently set up, children are set up to have a low self-esteem; which means their performance will be lower. Very few students leave school feeling good about them self. Student’s feelings about school and, how teachers view them the student is molded by many different things. Starting at a young age students are taught that if you cannot pass a test, then you are not good enough, even if they studied very hard and it was their best work. With No Child Left Behind the majority of teacher‘s are teaching to a test instead of the individual child. This does not give the children a chance to explore and learn through exploration. This method of learning does not take the child self esteem into account at all. So the grading system makes the child feel bad about themselves, so then they are more likely to do poorly and it creates a self fulfilling loop. Current grading is basically a punishment type penal system. If a child gets a bad grade, they usually cannot participate in extracurricular activities, and they may not pass the class or even grade, if they do poorly.

Teacher’s use red ink to correct student’s papers and markup the errors with little or no comments on why it is wrong, or how it could be better. The red ink is used as a negative. Seeing all the red on their paper children internalize that they can’t do anything correctly and that nothing they do is right. The children are shown what they do wrong with little or no feedback on what they do correct or if they are close to being correct. It would be more effective if the teacher were to provide each student with an individual critique of what could be improved, and why.

Many schools are now trying to enforce a dress code or standard student attire to assist with student’s problems that are caused by clothing, and to cut down on school being used as a fashion show. Dress play is an important role in children self-esteem. Dress code cuts down on problem with student dress, and helps the students whose family can’t afford expensive clothing and pricey shoes that children use to help identify who they are. However dress codes do not allow children to show their individualism.

Many children are not getting the need encouragement and empowerment at home. So, when they come to school they are looking for this positive reinforcement. Teacher’s have large classes sizes and have a very hard time spending one on one time with children. So unfortunately in most cases children cannot get this positive reinforcement at school.
Many children seeking to find their individual identity turn to gangs to increase their self-esteem. The false sense of power and control that gangs provide children give them a false sense of self-esteem. The gang provides the feedback that the child is craving. The more outrages the child is the more feedback they get from their peers. “Children do not acquire self-esteem at once nor do they always feel good about themselves in every situation. A child may feel self-confident and accepted at home but not around the neighborhood or in a preschool class. Furthermore, as children interact with their peers or learn to function in school or some other place, they may feel accepted and liked one moment and feel different the next”. Some tools to build your child’s confidence and feelings of worth are:

●  focus on the strengths of your child
●  focus on what’s good about the situation
●  accept your child as he/she is
●  have faith in your child
●  teach and encourage your child to try new things
●  recognize his/her efforts
●  believe in your child
●  respect your child
●  praise him/her for their efforts and improvements
●  spend time with your child (play, cuddle, read, sing, talk and listen)
●  provide structure and consistent routines (mealtimes, bedtime, discipline)
●  have realistic expectations
●  avoid comparing
●  avoid encouraging competition
(http://www.publichealthgreybruce.on.ca/family/Preschool/Self-Esteem.htm)

A child’s self esteem can be diminished with just one comment or even simply a look. This is why it is so important that parents and teachers are careful what they do, because it has an lasting effect on the children. A child with low self esteem is more likely to try drugs and alcohol and more likely to engage in promiscuity, then a child with a health self esteem. 
It would be wise for every school to set up programs to improve student self esteem. A self-esteem program would be best if it was driven by the students for the student. This type of program would include a safe environment for the students to express their feelings, wants and needs. Many students today don’t have a safe place to go, were they feel valued. Having a safe place that is run by the students would give them something to look forward to, which in turn would reduce suicide. This will allow the students to feel involved and part of something which will increase self-esteem and self-worth. In conclusion self-esteem is critical to children’s development, and the United States school system needs to address this need in the current curriculum.